Sunday, November 27, 2011

A Christmas tradition

I thought I'd share a Christmas tradition that my mom and I have. I look forward to it every year. We make "Jewelry Christmas Trees". All year long we hunt for jewelry at garage sales, auctions, sales and we also save those dreaded earrings that you happen to loose its mate, bracelets that loose charms, jewels etc. It can all be used. We also look for new and old picture frames of all different shapes and sizes.


It's really fun to go through the jewelry and play the "oh I remember this" game. Its also very special when you are able to use family members old jewelry. 


We use felt as a background and pipe cleaners to form the shape of the tree. And of course, the ever so handy glue gun to attach the jewelry!


This year I decided to try something different, and I LOVE how it turned out!! I took a page out of one my grandmothers old hymnals. I used it as the backdrop of my "Jewelry Christmas Tree". This hymn was one of her favorite hymns, and I just LOVED the name of it " I Love to Tell The Story".  The neat thing is the jewelry I used in this tree was some of my moms, my 2 grandmas, and some of my husbands grandmas. So that makes it even more special. 


This is a Christmas tradition I look forward to for soo many reasons. I love the "story" each tree tells, and I love the time I get to spend with my mom when we make these! I know I will have them to treasure for years and years!


Here is the tree I made this year. I REALLY think it turned out great!! What do you think??


Happy Holiday Season Everyone!!


Thursday, November 17, 2011

We want to adopt

I have changed my train of thought. I need to start thinking more like a mommy. If my child were here on earth, would I not do anything and everything for my baby? Of course I would. If I could fast forward and see the face of my future child, touch them , feel them, smell them...would I not break down walls to get to them? Then why am I not doing that now? I feel soo strongly that God would not have given me or David the desire to become parents if it were not His will. I feel desperate. I have such a desire to be a mommy, and David a daddy. Our hearts feel empty. We have soo much love to give a child. So I am going to do everything I can do to find them! (Watch out mama's on a mission)


So I am reaching out to you family, friends, blog followers, and just passers by.
My husband David and I have been trying to conceive for nearly 7 years. We have been through the whole gamete of fertility treatments including IVF. David is 35 and I am 32. We are a loving Christian family and currently have no children (we have 3 angel babies in heaven from miscarriages) David works as a chemical/admixture sales rep for a Global chemical company and I am a registered respiratory therapist, and also own my own business (www.faithnfertility.org)
We have one dog, Maddie, who is a very sweet girl and would LOVE to have a brother or sister to play with. We live in a big farm house with 5 bedrooms to fill! We have lots of land for our future darling to run and play on!
David enjoys anything outside, woodworking, and collects tractors. I enjoy cooking, baking, collecting antiques, swimming, shopping and anything girlie! We enjoy traveling and taking family vacations. We love Colts Football and St. Louis Cardinal Baseball. We love spending time with eachother. We are blessed to be best friends!


We hope that you will forward our information to anyone considering giving their baby up for adoption. We are interested in a private adoption, rather than going through an agency (for now). We know this is a major decision, but please know your child would be such an answer to our prayers.
Please feel free to email me at Logan_Mynatt@yahoo.com


Thank you soo much for reading this and passing this along! We trust the Lord has this all planned out, so we will continue to wait.


David and Logan Mynatt


Saturday, November 5, 2011

I'll run out of breath...



Tonight I had a really special moment with my husband. The moment touched my soul. I think I will always remember this night and our "moment".


We were laying in bed, cuddling. Just talking about our day and life in general. Sometimes "life" passes by soo quickly you actually forget to talk about it. In fact... 9 months, 9 months has passed. 9 months since my IVF cycle. Nearly 9 months ago I had a dream that I clung soo tightly to. A dream that I would be a mommy. That dream was put on hold. The Lord said "not yet". I had a miscarriage. So here I am supposed to be nearly 40 weeks pregnant, but I'm not. Instead, I wait. We wait. 


The moment I experienced with my husband was a build up of 9 painful months. 9 months without a heartbeat, 9 months without an ultrasound, 9 months without celebrating a new life, 9 months without a baby shower, 9 months with no growing belly, 9 months without daddy feeling his son kick when he sings to mommy's belly. 9 months without packing the bag for the hospital, or placing the car seat in the car anticipating when baby will come. 9 months of knowing we wouldn't be bringing a baby home in time for our 7th wedding anniversary (Nov. 20th) 


Our moment was precious. Our moment was perhaps something people who have children will never know. I believe God gave us our "moment" tonight. We were praying to Him when it happened...


As we were praying I asked David to pray for a miracle. To pray that the Lord would bring us a child. That it didn't matter how. As David is praying he says " Lord, you know our hearts. You know we feel broken. Lord, we are waiting. We have been waiting soo long." Then Dave stops. He says "Lord we have asked for miraculous works, I'm not sure what's going on, what the hold up is but, I'm tired...If I wait any longer I'll run out of breath"


That literally broke my heart. He'll run out of breath? My husband usually keeps things kinda to himself. But tonight God gave us our "moment". I got to hear my husband pray to god for a baby. I got to hear my husband plead to the Lord. I got to see into the window of my husbands heart. 


When we finished praying, I continued my prayer silently to the Lord. I prayed that He would hear my husbands plea for a child. That the Lord would lift this heavy burden and allow David to breathe again. That He would hear the exhaustion in David's prayer, how tired he was of waiting. I prayed that the Lord would work a miracle for my husband. I want soo desperately for him to be a daddy. It breaks my heart. 


I was reminded of the days I used to be a competitive swimmer. I would have to hold my breath for a VERY long time. Especially if I wanted to get 1st place. Taking a breath could make or break a race. I remember some races pushing myself soo hard and being soo tired and wanting desperately to just take a breath. Then I'd look up and see the touch pads and knew I was almost done. I had come the entire length of the pool without taking a breath, I couldn't dare breathe "into the wall" (swimmers lingo for the final 5 meters) I had to "dig deep" and push myself to finish the race! 



I suppose our infertility journey is somewhat like my days as a competitive swimmer. We're gonna have to dig deep! And like swimming, we will feel breathless at times. However unlike swimming, the Lord allows us to call forth the breath of God to bring forth life!! 

I'm thankful for our moment tonight. I'm thankful my husband allowed himself to be vulnerable to the Lord. It let me see into the future. Instead of continuing to dwell in the past 9 months. It taught us a lesson. It taught us that ...It's ok if the ONLY thing we did today was breathe...





Thursday, October 27, 2011

Thoughts of Becoming a mother





Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort,
without thought, without patience or loss and though
they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be just as good a mother.

It will be not because of genetics, 
or money or that I have read more books but because I have
struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have
appreciation are those who have struggled to attain
their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and
discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for
the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night
to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,
hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take
another temperature, pop another pill, take another
shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be
crying for me.

I count myself blessed in this sense; that God has given
me this insight, this special vision with which I will
look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless
with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my
own body.

I have been tried by fire and hell many
never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. 

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from
their pain in order to save myself discomfort. 
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, 
I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of
another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that
moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and
when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion
that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.


~Author Unknown

Monday, October 24, 2011

Always on my mind...

Here it is 1 o'clock in the morning, and I'm awake. Soo much on my mind lately. Working on Faith N' Fertility and getting it up and running as a business,  so it's not just a "silly Facebook page" anymore. Amy and I have taken quite the " Leap of Faith", and I just hope and pray that it is everything God wants it to be. We have set such a high standard for what we want FNF to be, but who am I kidding...this is Gods business and He has merely entrusted Amy and I to be the "managers" of it. I just pray that she and I are able to keep up with all God has in store for FNF. Amy and I speak daily (sometimes hourly) on how flabbergasted we are that God has given us this enormous blessing out of our personal suffering. It seems like lately good news knocks at our door quite often, she and I both know its not luck...it's a God thing!! Please help us in praying that FNF is all that God would have it to be. It is our mission to break down the silence of infertility and to be able to help families achieve the dream of having a child.


Also lately I have really been thinking about my "freezer babies" in Missouri. I have some anxiety about them. I'm in Indiana, they are in Missouri. They have been there since February. Are they ok? I play the "what if" game, over and over in my head. This is why I hate infertility. You never get a break from it. Not even at 1:11am! I am sitting here thinking about my "freezer babies", which leads me to thinking of the 3 I have already lost. Which takes me back to February, my last miscarriage. Had I not miscarried I would be 2 weeks away from becoming a mommy! Darn it!


I feel like I am in the same spot as I was in, in March. I know nothing more about my infertility as I did then. Why is that? I worry about that. I need to become more of my own patient advocate. I need to do this for my 4 "freezer babies". A few posts back I said I never wanted to become "that" patient. Well after some thought...and no return phone calls. It appears I will have to. I just feel uneasy about things. I think its time I become more proactive.


I never wanted to be an "older mom". This is not the life I wanted for David and I. I had a friend say to me last week, "We're not getting any younger", and that sure did hit me. I'm 32 years old, my husband is 35. This was not our plan. However, I have faith. Faith is trusting and believing in something that we cannot yet see. I do thank the Lord for my faith. He has blessed me with a very strong faith. I know that I am walking through this "journey" by faith...not by sight. I know my day is coming that He will light my way. I cannot wait for that day!


Thank you all for you love and support through this long, tiresome journey. Many of you are on it yourself. I pray for you all daily. I connect with your pain, I know your fears and anxieties. Remember, there is ALWAYS hope, ALWAYS!


If anyone is reading this who is going through infertility or pregnancy/infant loss and has not connected with us on Facebook, please find us at: Faith N' Fertility Journeys!


I came across this song and it really says how I feel with my journey through infertility.  Enjoy!






Blessings,


Lo

Always on my mind...

Here it is 1 o'clock in the morning, and I'm awake. Soo much on my mind lately. Working on Faith N' Fertility and getting it up and running as a business,  so it's not just a "silly Facebook page" anymore. Amy and I have taken quite the " Leap of Faith", and I just hope and pray that it is everything God wants it to be. We have set such a high standard for what we want FNF to be, but who am I kidding...this is Gods business and He has merely entrusted Amy and I to be the "managers" of it. I just pray that she and I are able to keep up with all God has in store for FNF. Amy and I speak daily (sometimes hourly) on how flabbergasted we are that God has given us this enormous blessing out of our personal suffering. It seems like lately good news knocks at our door quite often, she and I both know its not luck...it's a God thing!! Please help us in praying that FNF is all that God would have it to be. It is our mission to break down the silence of infertility and to be able to help families achieve the dream of having a child.

Also lately I have really been thinking about my "freezer babies" in Missouri. I have some anxiety about them. I'm in Indiana, they are in Missouri. They have been there since February. Are they ok? I play the "what if" game, over and over in my head. This is why I hate infertility. You never get a break from it. Not even at 1:11am! I am sitting here thinking about my "freezer babies", which leads me to thinking of the 3 I have already lost. Which takes me back to February, my last miscarriage. Had I not miscarried I would be 2 weeks away from becoming a mommy! Darn it!

I feel like I am in the same spot as I was in, in March. I know nothing more about my infertility as I did then. Why is that? I worry about that. I need to become more of my own patient advocate. I need to do this for my 4 "freezer babies". A few posts back I said I never wanted to become "that" patient. Well after some thought...and no return phone calls. It appears I will have to. I just feel uneasy about things. I think its time I become more proactive.

I never wanted to be an "older mom". This is not the life I wanted for David and I. I had a friend say to me last week, "We're not getting any younger", and that sure did hit me. I'm 32 years old, my husband is 35. This was not our plan. However, I have faith. Faith is trusting and believing in something that we cannot yet see. I do thank the Lord for my faith. He has blessed me with a very strong faith. I know that I am walking through this "journey" by faith...not by sight. I know my day is coming that He will light my way. I cannot wait for that day!

Thank you all for you love and support through this long, tiresome journey. Many of you are on it yourself. I pray for you all daily. I connect with your pain, I know your fears and anxieties. Remember, there is ALWAYS hope, ALWAYS!

If anyone is reading this who is going through infertility or pregnancy/infant loss and has not connected with us on Facebook, please find us at: Faith N' Fertility Journeys!

Blessings,

Lo



If an

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Call me Martha!!

Hello friends!! I just have to share with you what I made today!! Sometimes all this infertility talk is "oh soo heavy", so today lets talk  CRAFTING! So over this past week I saved a few toilet paper and paper towel rolls and made christmas ornaments!! They were SUPER easy and fun to make! All you do is flatten the tube out, cut them in strips, then glue them together! I used a hot glue gun. Just thought I'd share with y'all, let me know what you think!!!