Ya know...I have had this feelings, feelings that I don't so much care for. I am praying my way through these feelings, as I'm quite certain prayer is the only solution. I have been having these feelings like, what am I doing? Who am I? What's my story? I feel like I have no story. I feel boring.
My stats: I am 32 years old, been married almost 7 years. I am a christian. I live in a 2 story farm house with a barn. I have 1 dog. I am a respiratory therapist. I have no (earthly) children.
I know I should focus on what I have, I get that...but I don't. I haven't been. I see all the pictures, and hear all the stories of families playing ball, first day of school, positive pregnancy tests, deliveries, adoptions, dance recitals and vacations. I don't have that. I wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner for dave and I, watch TV, work on the computer, go to bed, repeat. I have no story.
When will I get a story? When will I get to fill up photo albums, go on school field trips, see my baby on an ultrasound, get a plus sign on a pregnancy test? When will I get to plan birthday parties, call my mom grandma, and put a princess bandaid on a skinned knee? When will my story include leaving cookies for Santa, making snow angels in the snow or wiping a runny nose? When can I tell my story? I suppose when I get one...
I know God is working in my life. I feel Him. However, I also know that just when God tries to do something great, thats when the devil raises his evil head. The Devil keeps telling me lies, he makes me feel hopeless. He steals my story.
However, through prayer, God has helped me realize that he is still on the first "chapter" in my story. He has helped me to understand that not every story is the same. Really, if you think about it...how boring would it be to go to the library and it has all the same books and stories? Super boring, right? My story, is not your story. I must admit, sometimes I wish I had a different story. A story of family and children. However, I don't. Not yet, but I know God isn't through writing. He is going for a "best seller". This comforts me, His promise comforts me.
So, I encourage you to ask yourself- What’s your story? Is God still writing your story? What chapter do you think he's on? Can you use your story to be part of the greater story around us? How are we sharing it with the world?
I came across this song and in this song it says; "So what’s your story about God’s glory? How are you letting your life speak to the world?"
Blessings,
Lo
